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Loft Striped Dress //  Steve Madden Wedges (dupe for the much more expensive Marc Fisher and Chloe pair) //  Cult Gaia Arc Bag // Cult Gaia Dupe (less than half the price) //  BaubleBar Monogram //  Hermes Clic Clac Bracelet //  Tory Burch Reva Watch //  Crossover Ring //  Tiffany Ball Stud Earrings  //  Rayban Aviators

Happy Hump Y’all! Hope you all had a wonderful day celebrating Merica’ yesterday!! Before you indulge in the latest episode of the Dating Diaries, let’s talk outfit. This dress is what summer dreams are made of!! The material is super comfy and stretchy. Plus, if you check my photos vs. the Loft website, the dress can be worn on the shoulder or off. It’s super easy to throw on and easy to dress up or down. To dress this up for my date night with B, I paired the comfiest and on trend wedges of the season! These babies are a dupe for two much more expensive brands and look almost identical. Trust me on the comfort level…your feet will thank you!! For a fun touch, I added my Cult Gaia arc Bag. It is a such a statement piece and immediately dresses up any outfit. I’ve added the more affordable version in the links above. My fave acrylic monogram necklace layered on top was the perfect, but simple piece. There are so many choices in colors of this necklace! I am wearing the bright/true white color. Now, onto our regularly scheduled #humpdaytalk…..Dating Diaries: Episode 11.

Dating Diaries: Episode 11

Peep the previous Dating Diaries episode, here. The more you read…the funnier it gets. #realtalk

I just want to get this off my chest before we start. I’m hoping that somebody, somewhere out there can call Guiness Book of World Records for me, bc I am pretty sure that this might have been the SHORTEST.DATE.EVER. I originally stumbled upon date 11 when we both graciously “swiped right” on good ole’ Tinder. Anywhooooo….the dreaded date was upon us and we met at Margaritas. Yup, you guessed it….we were going there for, wait for it….margaritas. Lol. Now, if you have never used the Tinder app, let me just give you a little background info. The apps lets you know how far away the person is currently from you using some sort of GPS sorcery/wizardry to calculate the distance. Long story short, I knew beforehand that date 11 lived close to me and Margaritas. I guess my first sign that the date would not go very well was the fact that he rolled up on a bike. No, no, not a motorcycle…A PEDAL BIKE!! #areyoulancearmstrong? Now, take a moment to let that sink in. He rode a bike to a first date, in the middle of July. #ridindirty Let’s just say that this shirt was drenched in sweat and it was not the most pleasant aroma wafting over to me. We ordered margs and got to talking. If there ever was a time that my #bitchyrestingface was in full force, it twas’ that July night. This dude literally would not shut up about himself and his robots. You heard that right, robots. Like, how much he loves robots, works on them, builds them, showed me 4 million pictures of robot arms etc. He was robot obsessed and all I could think about was Arnold Schwarzenegger as The Terminator. Two strikes were already against him and I was on the edge of my seat to see what else this dude had up his sleeve. Welp, remember how I said I knew he lived close? Obvi, close enough to ride his bike to the date. He started to tell me about this steal of a house he had just bought. Only through further discussion, I realized I actually KNEW the exact house he bought. I knew bc it was right up the road and I drove to work that way every day. The absolute best way for me to describe this house, Texas Chainsaw Massacre. As in, completely rundown, paint peeling everywhere, prob a couple dead bodies in there somewhere. The final straw was that he said he collected car parts and had a bunch old cars in his driveway so that he could work on them in his free time. All I could think of was please, please, can I sign up to be your girlfriend? Sweaty shirts, robots, texas chainsaw massacre house, and a graveyard of cars. What more could a girl want? #nope

The “check please!” flew out of my mouth and I was hightailing it out to my car. Full disclosure: I naturally had to drive by the his house on the way home. I just needed one more look at the ramshackled place to make sure I was remembering it correctly. Fourteen old cars/ parts in the driveway and lawn. Nope times a million. I think somebody better get Chip and Joanna Gaines to Philly to fix Date 11’s house. The Prince Charming I was hoping for would hopefully have a car, one that worked…not a graveyard of them. Actual time spent with Date 11: 27 minutes

PS: Although, we are currently looking for a new house…we still live in the same area as I did when I went on that date. So….sometimes, every once in awhile, I spot date 11 out in the wild. Ahhh, the memories.

Pro Dating Tip #11

Things not to do on a date…Go! 1. Be sweaty AF bc you rode your bike there. 2, Robots, nope. Unless it’s one of those Roombas that’s gonna vacuum my house. 3. If your house is really scary and has 14 old car all over the lawn, I’m not going there, EVER. Ps: pretty sure most girls wouldn’t.

What was your first date??? I’d love to hear some other fun or not so funny dating stories! Drop me a comment below!

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Alison